It is August everyone, how did that happen? For us over here at DE HQ our last ‘full scale’ wedding was March 14th and we had 140+ guests in attendance. Since then, we have had two smaller scale weddings, however we are gearing up for our first wedding back to ‘normal’ since Covid hit on August 15th!!! That is FIVE whole months for us and man, we have missed sending our brides down the aisle.
I know for many of you Brides out there, you are sitting in your homes, watching social media and seeing that not too many weddings are happening, your own wedding is maybe just two-three months away and you are starting to sweat. JUST WAIT. This is not the time to start thinking about postponing your wedding, most Brides who had to postpone their Spring wedding either moved it to August or beyond and they just haven’t started to happen yet, but they are on the horizon!!
We are still actively planning with our August and September clients moving full force towards their big days.
Now, it is time debunk those little narratives you have cooked up in your brain that have sent you in a tailspin making you believe your only option is to postpone your wedding.
Raise your hand if you have said one or all of the following:
I have to postpone my wedding because:
- My Caterer/Venue is going to lock me in and will hold true to the contracted food and beverage minimum
- My wedding won’t look like I have always dreamed it would
- No one will come and I will have spent all this money on what…
First of all, we need to stop and talk about the main objective to a wedding and that is to marry your spouse. At the end of every wedding, that is the end game and if you accomplished that – BOOM you did good.
Now, let’s go through each of these touch points!
- My Caterer/Venue is going to lock me in and will hold true to the contracted food and beverage minimum
- FALSE. Most venues and caterers are being SUPER flexible with your originally contracted food and beverage minimums. Before you spin totally out of control, contact them and ask if it is possible to drop your counts without penalty. I can almost guarantee you that you will not be penalized for dropping your count and they will be extremely happy you are still moving forward.
- My wedding won’t look like I have always dreamed it would
- FALSE. If you end your wedding day walking away hand in hand with your spouse, then that is what you have always dreamed of. You will still be in the beautiful dress, you will still be able to have your first dance, champagne toast, gorgeous florals, heartfelt speeches, and best of all, cut your cake. In all my 10 years in this industry, I have never had a bride print out a single photo of her reception space with the faces of her guests or a photo of the ceremony with the guests faces as the highlight. You will not remember if someone wore a mask, care that the meal was plated, or that you had hand sanitizer everywhere. YOUR WEDDING WILL LITERALLY LOOK EXACTLY LIKE A WEDDING. Stop feeding into the fact that something is drastically different because from where I am sitting, everything is pretty darn normal.
- No one will come and I will have spent all this money on what…
- Semi-true. First, go back and read #1. Second, your family and closest friends WILL come. Guests that don’t feel comfortable yet, won’t, and that is perfectly fine. A smaller wedding doesn’t make it less of a wedding NOR DOES a larger wedding make it a more of a wedding.
- Please stop thinking that under 100 guests means it is an elopement. An elopement is a ceremony only event. If you are having both and ceremony and reception, it is still a wedding.
- Just because “X” who is a close friend of the family can’t come does not mean you have to postpone your wedding. That just means they can’t come.
- If someone can’t come or chooses not to come because they are not comfortable, does not mean that they love you any less.
Now, about that title. I am sure that I will get a ton of flack and hate mail about it, but it is not just click bait. It is the truth. Back in March, when the whole country shut down we had no choice but to move weddings, shuffle things around, find open dates when we could, and make sure everyone was available. It was an honest to God mess. Now that we are in August, we are starting to see our country and more locally, our City of Jacksonville open up and larger gatherings are happening again! It is very exciting and I am so happy to be getting back to work. However, because of the items mentioned above, a ‘new wave’ of hopeful postponements is happening and I want to take a moment to caution brides as to what that could mean for them. It could mean that:
Until there is another state or nationally mandated shut down, you have no real cause or reason to postpone your wedding
Of course you just read that and could come up with a thousand reasons, but hear me out. If you do choose to postpone your wedding, it is your personal choice and you will have to understand that with that personal choice the following could me true. It is important to share this information with you now so you are not shocked by this reality.
- Your wedding vendors could potentially not be available for your postponed date. So that dream team you have contracted for 6-9 months, may no longer be able to be a part of your day
- because of them not being available, you ARE NOT entitled to receive your non-refundable retainer or deposit back. This is not personal, that does not make them bad people, don’t go and write a bad review about them to bully them into submission (that actually makes you look really bad. Plus, we all talk, so…we know). If you want your vendor to be in business for your day, think about the way you are treating them. If 10 other clients are asking for their money back that could amount to $10,000 – $15,000+ do you have that in your bank account? *read: it is not just your wedding being effected* If every client asks for money back, your vendor may go out of business or may have to get a full time job to support their families. That could mean that their availability that you have become accustomed to may no longer exist. You signed a contract.
- If they are available, it is possible that they will now ask you for a rebooking fee, postponement fee, scope of scale fee. This could range from $50 – $1,000+ depending on your event, the day of your event, what vendor you are asking to move.
- REBOOKING FEES ARE NORMAL. Yes, they have already received your deposit. Yes, that means they have your money. NO, that does not mean you are good. You are asking them to hold another date 6 – 12 months from now.
IF YOU WANT YOUR VENDOR TO STILL BE IN BUSINESS TO SERVICE YOUR WEDDING, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT THESE REBOOKING FEES ENSURE THAT.
Think about it this way, there are typically only 4-5 weekends in a month and if a vendor only takes on one event each day or each weekend (of course, depending on their service base) and 20+ clients are asking them to move…that could mean that they will be going another 2-3 MONTHS without any income. You are asking your vendors to not be paid and even worse, for money back…Just let that sit in.
Of course I don’t mean to say this to shame you, but I want to bring this to your attention to normalize the reality before you are shocked and disheartened by getting this notification from one of your vendors.
We have huge hearts, we love weddings, we wouldn’t do this if we didn’t. However, none of us are in this ‘to get rich’. Many vendors have not had a paycheck in over 5 months and did not receive unemployment, government subsidies, or loans.
So, before you think that you have to postpone your wedding, think. Can I risk not having my dream wedding team? Can I afford to dip deeper into my budget to pay these rebooking fees? If the answer is no to either of these questions, stay the course sweet Bride. We will rally around you and make sure you have an unforgettable day!
Leave a Reply